I Hate Everything About You
by JayEz
Summary: Lindsey left L.A. hoping he would never encounter Angel again. But as Angel returnes from his meeting with the the revived Buffy and stops for a drink on the way, Lindsey happens to go to the same bar. But do they really hate each other that much?


**I Hate Everything About You**

By NoRiskNoFun

**Disclaimer: **All the characters mentioned in here belong to Joss Whedon. The song mentioned in the story, "(I Hate) Everything About You" is from Three Days Grace. If you dont know it, youll have to get to, its great!

**Pairing: **Lindsey/Angel

**Summary: **Lindsey left L.A. hoping he would never encounter Angel again. But as Angel returns from his meeting with the revived Buffy and stops for a drink on the way, Lindsey happens to go to the same bar. They realize once again how much they hate each other- but do they really?

**Raiting: **PG-13/ T for now

**Authors Notes: **This is my first fanfiction I actually publish in the web- I did it, hooray! Mistakes are possible for Im not a native speaker, please forgive me in that case. But I had it betaed. Thanks to my sister, Miss Bingley (who is not a native speaker either, but she studies English)!

Honest reviews are wanted very much!

The sign "---" indicates that there is a change of the point of view the story is told in.

**Warning: **Slash

**Sorry: **Its impossible to get appostrophes here... Sorry for that! I hope its still possible to read it. If you know a possibility of inserting apostrophes, please tell me!

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**I Hate Everything About You**

"Whats that about?", wondered Lindsey as he was pulled over by the police on his way out of L.A. He neither drove too fast nor had violated any law that he as a lawyer knew of, so why should these cops pull him over?

But he didnt know about Angels little good-bye present, meaning the big sign at the back of his truck that had "COPS SUCK" written on it.

As one of the cops, a dangerous looking one, informed him about that, Lindsey had to supress the urge to start cursing very badly. This fucking vampire. And there Lindsey was, thinking they went from hate to dislike, but nah, Angel had to put up a damn cop insulting sign to get Lindsey in trouble.

Lindsey convinced the officer in his best lawyer tone that a friend must have put this up as a good-bye present, which he didnt know anything about. This must have been one of the first times Lindsey didnt lie in a speech about law violation. He really was letting go of Wolfram & Hart.

The cop didnt do anything, but under the condition that Lindsey took the sign down, which he promtly did in front of the cops eyes. That seemed to show him he had made the right choice.

So Lindsey took up his journey out ouf L.A. once again, without "COPS SUCK" written on a sign at the back of his truck.

---

Angel didnt know exactly why, but he needed a drink. Not blood, but alcohol. It had been a long time since Angel had felt like he needed alcohol. The last time, he guessed, was when he had left Buffy and had landed in L.A. At least that was the last time he remembered just now, but he hadnt been thinking that straight at the moment either.

Of course it was about Buffy again. She had died but had risen again. Okay, had been risen, actually. And naturally Angel had had to see her.

And there he was, brooding over that little blonde that had changed his life once more. At the begining, the change was good , but now the change she brought on was affecting Angel in a bad way. If he kept on brooding, he wouldnt be able to work properly anymore. That had to stop.

So he pulled over at a bar on the way from their meeting place to L.A., ready to wash Buffy away till the next time she needed him.

---

"Lifes a bitch and then you die." This sentence seemed to sum up Lindseys state just properly. He was still looking for a new job, but couldnt find one. It had only been two weeks that he was on the look, but he had been to Harvard and worked for Wolfram & Hart! His last job was found fast, but the law firm Lindsey had worked with had gotten broke two weeks ago- which wasnt Lindseys fault, he had won every case and made most of the money. There seemed to be no other way than to keep on looking, unless he opened his own office, which he really didnt have the money for.

He should have stayed at Wolfram & Hart, they would have promoted him and hed be swimming in money right now. But thered still be Angel in town... Oh Lord, how Lindsey hated that vampire. It was all Angels fault.

Angel had cut off his hand.

Angel had prevented quite a lot of the plans Lindsey had.

Angel had slept with Darla.

Angel had shown him where his new hand came from.

Angel had made him leave Wolfram & Hart.

In retrospect, Lindsey noticed that since Angel was in his life, everything had gone from great to bad and from bad to worse.

How much he hated him.

But then, as he was sitting behind the wheel af his old truck looking for a bar, a thought crossed his mind.

Would Lindsey still be happy, swimming in money, saving clients that didnt really deserve it from jail, leading the special projects department? Fighting Angel all the time and not being allowed to kill him although he wanted it that much?

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield it." That Oscar Wilde was a brilliant feller. But had Lindsey yielded, he would have been fired.

Then how come he hadnt done it at their last encounter, when Wolfram & Hart hadnt had any power over him anymore?

Fuck. How he hated questions he didnt have the answers to.

---

"_Sunset Blvd_. What a fitting nickname for a bar in the middle of nowhere, far away from any civilization...", Angel thought. But he didnt mind. He didnt want to have fun, or meet someone or anything that involved a lot of people. He just wanted to get drunk. And the bar had alcohol, so it was all Angel needed. That it wasnt really crowded was a welcomed side effect.

So he sat down at the bar and ordered an extra strong _Bloody Mary_. Some would consider it macabre, but Angel found it kind of funny that humans made a drink that looked like blood and was called like it, too. The _Caritas_ crossed his mind, where you could get real blood in the _Bloody Mary_.

The _Caritas_... A lot had happened there last year. Lorne had gotten him into a lot of trouble, from traps over teaming up with the enemy to landing him in another dimension. Teaming up with the enemy... Angels gaze looked around in the club and rested on a karaokee machine.

"Hell no...", he thought. He just hoped nobody wanted to get him on stage. And he hoped further that nobody came upon the idea of singing either.

Deep in thought Angel ordered his second _Bloody Mary_.

---

Finally. A karaokee bar. Lindsey pulled up his car to the parking space in front of the not-so-much-attended-looking-bar _Sunset Blvd_, hoping it really was as uncrowded as he expected.

His plan, drinking and singing, helped most of the time. At least it had in the last two weeks on every day he hadnt gotten a job.

Lindsey got in and headed for a table in front of the stage, but accidently hit a guy at the bar on his way there.

"Watch where youre going!", growled the man. Lindsey turned around.

"Dont start whining you-" But Lindsey never got to finish the sentence, because he choked as he saw who he had run into. The very last person he wanted to encounter on an evening like this. Or at any upcoming evening in his entire rest of life. Angel.

---

Angel was only able to stand there and stare at Lindsey. At first he was planning to throw the guy across the bar, but after he realized who he was, he didnt manage to do so after all. He didnt know why.

"Lindsey? What the hell are you doing here?", Angel said, sounding more surprised and less angry than he had actually planned to.

"Hey, this aint L.A., so I am allowed to be here." Lindsey replied, not really answering the question. But Angel didn´t have enough alcohol to miss that.

"Nevertheless. You didnt answer my question. What the hell are you doing here?" Angel stepped a bit closer. Lindsey stayed where he was.

"You frightening me?"

"Only if you dont tell me right now what youre doing here."

"Wanting to get drunk and sing a little." Angel cut him off before he could add anything.

"Why do you want to get drunk? Bad day?"

"Bad week. Actually weeks." Lindsey paused and looked at Angel. "So, I gave you insight in my private life, its your turn now. What the fuck are you doing here, so far away from L.A. and Wolfram & Hart?"

---

Angel looked as if he wanted to kill Lindsey for that question. Well, he did aim to provoke him.

"I helped a friend in Sunnydale." Sunnydale, that rang a bell in Lindseys head. A picture appeared in front of his inner eye he had seen in Angels file. A blond girl named Buffy Summers.

"Is that friend by any chance Buffy Summers?", Lindsey asked and was promtly pushed very hard against the counter.

"How do you know of her?!", growled Angel.

"Saw her photo in your file, during my days at Wolfram & Hart. No need to worry." He apparently had hit a soft spot. "So, shes still the slayer? Seems a little strange to me, a slayer needing help from a vampire- oh, wait, I just remember, she gave you perfect happiness. Still thankful for that, aint you?" Angel seemed to have to control himself very hard not to cut off Lindseys hand again. Lindsey just smiled at Angel.

He had no idea why he was doing this, he just felt better for the first time in two weeks, making Angel angry. It was great when those dark brown eyes were glittering with hate.

---

Angel looked deep into the lawyers blue eyes. How much he hated that guy. He had hoped he had got rid of him after he had made him leave Wolfram & Hart, but, no, he had to turn up when he was feeling very miserable and strained and had to immediately get him to the end of his tether again. What was it with Lindsey that always got him go mad?

Angel forced himself to calm down and let go of Lindsey, whose arms must really have hurt where they were pressed against the counter, but he didnt show any sign of pain.

"So Lindsey," Angel began, conversationally, trying to calm things down a bit. He knew that when he didnt restrain himself hed kill Lindsey after the next bad remark he made. "What about your week? Lost a case?"

Lindsey looked at Angel for a moment as though considering how much to tell. "More than lost my job."

"Again?"

"Shut up. Last time I quit. This time, the firm ended up broke. Not because of me, though."

"I guess you were their _best and brightest_."

"Yeah."

He still had his pride. And he seemed to remember that Angel just said the same words he had on their last meeting in L.A. Angel sat down on his chair again and drank the rest of his _Bloody Mary_. Lindsey sat down next to him. "T and T.", he told the barkeeper. "There real blood in there?", he asked Angel. 

Angel shook his head. "I want to get drunk, not full. And besides, this is no demon bar."

"You want to get drunk as well? Hows that?"

Angel looked at him, struggling with himself whether to tell him or not, and if, then how much.

"None of your buisness."

"I told you too. Come on. If you tell me, Ill get your next _Bloody Mary_."

"The next and the ones I already drank. Makes only five." Angel didnt really want to tell him, but the alcohol seemed to have made him care less.

Lindsey nodded, told the barkeeper to get Angel another _Bloody Mary _and paid the six before speaking again."You can give me the short version." Angel sighed.

"Its about Buffy. She died in the latest apocolypse in Sunnydale."

"And now youre drowning yourself in alcohol because you cant take the grief?"

Angel shot him a look. "Would you let me finish?" Lindsey stayed quiet. "Then her friends in Sunnydale brought her back from the dead and shes still kinda, well... I dont know. Anyway, we met at our spot between Sunnydale and L.A."

---

As Angel didnt seem to want to go on anymore, Lindsey spoke up. "And youre drowning your sixth _Bloody Mary_ why exactly? Because youre so happy that shes alive again?"

Angel didnt look at him. "When she isnt in my life, Im fine, but as soon as she gets back in, Im a mess. So Ill wash her away and go on."

Lord, that guy had issues.

"Look, I think I have a solution." Angel turned his head towards Lindsey. "Pay a visit to a psychiatrist. Hell be able to help you get over your blondes."

What was meant as an almost serious proposition was taken as bad mockery. Thus, Lindsey found himself pressed against the counter again, Angels hand on his neck, the other on his chest, preventing him from standing up.

"You know, I dont have to let some currently unemployed lawyer tell me what I should do, especially when he is miserably wanting to get drunk as well because life isnt working out the way he thought it would be."

Lindsey hadnt wanted to make Angel angry, but the fact that he had made himself angry, too. Lord, how he hated that vampire.

"And you know what? I dont have to listen to the guy who started this whole lifes-not-working-out-the-way-it-should thing in the first place!"

"So youre blaiming me now that you are an unemployed Harvard law school graduate?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh, and hows that again?"

Lindsey couldnt believe this. Angel had to be pretending not to know. But Lindsey didnt actually care. He would have screamed louder than he already did, hadnt there been a vampire pressing him down and depriving him of oxygen.

"You cut my hand off!"

"Oh, the evil vampire cut my hand off!", Angel mocked him in a high voice. "Get over it you-"

"Shut the fuck up! With that, everything started! You always got in the way of my plans-"

"You always got in the way of mine!"

Lindsey decided to ignore that. "You slept with Darla-"

"You brought her here in the first place." Saying that, Angel moved his hand from his throat to this other hand on Lindseys chest, pushing him more and more onto the counter. For the first time Angel realized nobody of the others here seemed to care about their fight.

"You showed me the origins of my new hand, and you convinced me to make the worst mistake of my life, leaving Wolfram & Hart. I could have had everything there."

"Yeah, except hapiness."

"Cant you just- argh!" Lindsey was losing it. And worst of all: Angel was saying what he himself had thought all along. And Angel didnt stop.

"You dont need to try and convince me, Lindsey, that you believe that it was a mistake to leave Wolfram & Hart, when you cant even convince yourself. I mean, you may believe youve convinced yourself, but hey, think again."

"What do I have to do to make you SHUT THE FUCK UP?!"

"Hm, lets think. Press me against the counter. But, wait a minute, that doesnt seem to work with you either. I guess Ill have to do something about that."

In the moment Angel loosened his grip on his chest, Lindsey pushed against Angel with all his might, completely throwing the surprised Angel off the hook. They landed on the floor, Lindsey trying to get a good hold of Angel, for he knew that strangling him would be in vain, and Angel trying to get on top of the situation again. With a great effort, Angel rolled them around so that he was above Lindsey, who immediately jerked his head forwards, hitting Angels own. Angel was off guard for exactly the moment it took Lindsey to get up on his feet again and to kick Angels torso. But Angel had stood up in no time, punshing Lindsey hard in the face. Lindsey could see how Angel restrained himself not to morph out and rip his throat open.

Lindey punched back but missed, and Angel slammed him into the wall. Lindsey was cut off air for a moment, but recovered in time to escape Angels next blow.

The bar seemed to see a lot of fights, since the barkeeper just stood behind the bar, giving out drinks, only glancing over occasionally and not taking the slightest interest.

Now it was Lindseys turn to slam Angel against the wall and keep him there. Angel was larger than Lindsey, but Lindsey had the better positon.

"Are you gonna shut up now?", he asked, but Angel just shook his head- and jerked it forward just as Lindysey had done before. Lindsey lost his balance, Angel took the chance and threw him to the ground again, his hands pressing Lindseys forearms down, his knee pushing down the hips. Their faces were inches away from each other.

Angel smiled. "You see, Im on top of this. What are you gonna do now?"

Lindsey looked up at Angel, painfully aware of the vampires knee resting on his hipbone and Angels hands cutting off the bloodflow to his arms. Right, what to do? He couldnt think of anything he could do in this position to get Angel off of him. Headbutting him wouldnt work anymore. He was helpless. Unless...

Lindsey lifted his head slightly and pressed his lips against Angels. It didnt take long for Angel to jump up. The only thing was- Lindsey kind of didnt want him to.

---

Angel froze in shock for a moment as he felt Lindseys lips pressed against his. What the hell was the guy doing? He jumped up before he realized that that was exactly what Lindsey had wanted to achieve. This realization must have shown on his face, for Lindsey was smiling satisfiedly. Angel felt as if that smile was provoking him more than everything else, so he jumped Lindsey again, but Lindsey won in the end. Angel struggled to free himself but couldnt.

"You want to give me a kiss now?", Lindsey asked. Angel believed to have caught a glimpse of hope but pushed that thought away. No way.

"Something like that.", Angel answered and tried to headbutt Lindsey, whose head avoided Angels by inches. Lindsey laughed.

"Im not that stupid, Ang-" But Angel cut Lindsey off, not with a remark but with a kiss this time.

But Angels plan didnt work. Lindsey didnt jump up in shock, he held the kiss.

---

As Lindsey broke the kiss it seemed like an eternity had passed. Angel was looking at him with those deep brown eyes narrowed in confusion. Lindsey didnt understand it himself. Especially when he sunk his lips against Angels one more time, pushing his tongue forward.

In his surprise, Angel opened his mouth just enough to let Lindsey in. As they deepened the kiss, Lindsey loosened his grip on Angel, but Angel didnt seem to notice or even care.

Lindsey had kissed a lot of people, guys and girls the same, but that one felt different. He wasnt able to say how, but Lindsey felt his body going warm and starting to tremble for he was cold at the same time. This wasnt normal.

---

Angel didnt notice Lindseys loosened grip at first. He was too hung up in the net his thoughts were spinning. What was he doing? Letting his enemy kiss him? Or, wait, kissing his enemy? He wanted to stop, but couldnt, Lindseys tongue in his mouth felt just too good.

They broke apart as it occurred to Lindsey that he had to breathe in contrast to Angel. They looked into each others eyes. Lindsey looked surprised, Angel confused. It was just then when Angel realized that he wasnt pressed to the floor so hard that he couldnt stand up anymore.

So Angel pushed himself up, shoving Lindsey off him in the process. Lindsey nearly fell to the floor. Standing again, Lindsey looked straight at Angel. Angels expression hardened.

"I hate you, Lindsey." Lindseys expression hardened as well.

"I hate you, too, Angel.", he said.

"Good, then thats cleared up."

---

They stared at each other for another moment. Lindsey was shaking slightly, almost undetectably, but he was still shaking. Because of what?

He didnt know. Another question he didnt have the answer to. That seemed to happen to him a lot lately.

As the silence between the two became almost unbearable, Lindsey decided that something had to happen or hed start shaking for Angel to see.

"Youre drunk, so you got what you wanted. Why are you still here then?", he asked Angel, his voice not trembling as much as hed expected it to , and not as cold as he had hoped it would be.

"You know, youre right. Ill just go. Didnt you say you wanted to sing? So go on, play rockstar, Lindsey."

They looked at each other for another moment, then Lindsay turned and headed towards the stage, unnecessarily fast. There was a guitar and an e-guitar behind the curtain. Lindsey picked up the e-guitar without hesitation. He was still trembling. He had just realized something, which made him a lot angrier- but at himself, not at Angel- because he hadnt seen it before.

He put on the guitar, connected it to the box and noticed that Angel had gone to the bar, swallowing the last remains of his drink. Lindseys drink still stood there untouched.

He began to play.

---

Angel just wanted to head in the direction of the door as Lindsey played the first chords. He was immediately reminded of the one time he had heard Lindsey sing at the _Caritas_, where Angel had talked about how bad Lindsey was just to hide the fact that he thought he was amazing. So Angel turned to Lindsey as he started to sing with his eyes closed, not sure if he really should stay.

"_Everytime we lie awake_

_After every hit we take_

_Every feeling that I get_

_But I havent missed you yet_

_Every roommate kept awake_

_By every sigh and scream we make_

_All the feelings that I get_

_But I still dont miss you yet_

_Only when I stop to think about it_"

---

Lindsey opened his eyes for the first time and looked straight at Angel for a split second when he sang the first two lines of the refrain before he returned his eyes to the guitar.

"_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

I hate everything about you 

_Why do I love you_."

---

If Angels heart could beat, it would have skipped one. During the time Lindsey just played the guitar he was holding Angels gaze. Angel didnt know what to think. Before he could start to form any thought at all, Lindsey dropped the gaze and took up the singing again.

"_Every time we lie awake_

_After every hit we take_

_Every feeling that I get_

But I havent missed you yet 

_Only when I stop to think about it_"

---

Lindsey looked up for less than a second, but still he noticed that Angel looked utterly confused. Lindsey didnt feel confused anymore. He didnt know who exactly the song was written by, but he must have been a seer. The refrain expressed everything that was going on inside him.

"_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_"

---

Angel was hoping for Lindsey to look up again, to give him something, even a small look. But he got nothing. Lindsey kept on playing.

"_Only when I stop to think_

_About you, I know_

_Only when you stop to think_

_About me, do you know"_

In the short pause before the next refrain Lindsey didnt look up either. Angel was starting to feel vulnerable in this state of having no idea about his feelings.

"_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you"_

But then finally Lindsey lifted his face and their eyes met for the tiniest bit of a moment. Lindseys next lines seemed to voice the thought that hadnt yet managed to form in Angels mind and Angel inhaled sharply although he didnt have to. Angel found it unbelievable that someone could have two epiphanies in a few months time.

"_You hate everything about me_

_Why do you love me_"

---

Lindsey had to see what effect his last words had on the vampire. But in the short moment he saw Angel before he returned to the end of the song he couldnt figure out what the expression on Angels face held. Disbelief? Surprise? Realization? All Lindsey could do was to end the song and hope for clearity afterwards.

"_I hate_

_You hate_

_I hate_

_You love me_

_I hate everything wbout you_

_Why do I love you_"

Lindsey ended the song but didnt dare look at Angel just yet. Now that he was off stage, he didnt seem to have the courage to face his feelings. He took off the guitar, disconnected it from the box and but it back behind the curtain before he left the stage and finally headed towards Angel.

As Lindsey reached Angel, he glanced at him, took his still untouched T and T from the counter and swallowed it in one gulp. Then he turned to Angel.

---

What could one say in a moment like this? Two arch nemesises realize as their paths cross again after they were finished with each other that they do hate one another but love each other at the same time.

Lindsey didnt seem to have a clue either for he was looking at Angel with those blue eyes in silence. Angel finally got himself to say something.

"Great song. Who is it from?"

Lindsey seemed a little startled by the question, he probably had expected something else. "The bands called _Three Days Grace_. Theyre amazing."

"I dont know them but they must be seers." At this Lindsey laughed.

"What?", Angel asked.

"Its just, I thought the same thing as I was singing." It took Lindsey another second to realize what Angel had just said between the lines. He looked surprised.

"You mean the third refrain,the "_I hate everything about you, why do I love you; You hate everything about me, why do you love me"_ part?"

Angel nodded, looking as if he wasnt sure he could admit that.

---

Lindseys heart skipped a beat. That was huge. And he couldnt do anything else but keep looking at Angel. He hadnt been sure if Angel felt the same way.

Lindsey opened his mouth a few times to say something, but he just couldnt think of anything to say or do. Angel seemed to be at a loss for words and actions as well.

"Well...", Lindsey finally got out.

"Hm...", Angel replied.

Lindsey eventually managed to form a sentence. "Want another drink?"

Angel nodded enthusiastically. "Sure."

So they sat down on two bar seats and ordered the next round.

**-fin-**

**-for the moment-**


End file.
